Carolyn Joan Conger-Allen's Obituary
On April 10, 2024, Carolyn Joan Conger-Allen passed away peacefully in the loving presence of her daughter, Wendy Rash. As nothing with Joan was unplanned, we can only assume that she passed when she did in order to spend time with her newest great grandson, Knox. Due any day now, he will be passed off from Joan knowing all the family secrets. Beware!
Joan was preceded in death by her late husband, James Allen. She is survived by her two children, Wendy Rash (Yancey) and Todd Hafner (Stephen). In addition, she is survived by seven incredible grandchildren (with their amazing spouses), and seven (soon to be eight) wonderful great grandchildren.
Although we mourn her loss, her passing allows us to celebrate and reflect on the life of this incredible woman.
Joan, affectionately known as JoJo to her friends and family, was born in a Philadelphia suburb to Elizabeth Wriggins Conger and Fred Tenny Conger on May 1, 1939. After graduating from Germantown Friends School, she matriculated first to Dennison University for two years, and then to the University of Michigan, where she graduated Magna Cum Laude, with a Bachelor’s Degree in Education.
Leaving the east coast behind, she eventually landed in warm and sunny San Jose, California, where she had her first teaching job. She and her first husband later became involved in education administration, running a private co-ed boarding school on the shores of Lake Tahoe (self described by Joan as a magnificent experience with a lifetime of memories). Bumped around by the pinball machine we affectionately call ‘Life,’ JoJo attained real estate licenses in both Nevada and California, where she successfully established her own real estate business. After Jim’s death in Mesquite, NV, she retired to Tucson AZ, eventually making her way to Utah. She was the first resident at the Lodge of North Ogden, which held a special place in her heart and it was at the Lodge, after numerous supportive visits from friends and family, that JoJo passed away. The family wishes to extend our deepest appreciations to the staff and residents at the Lodge, who loved and cared for her until her eventual passing. She cherished her home there.
Now that the formalities have been addressed, who really was JoJo, you ask?
She was, hands down, the most colorful (literally and figuratively) woman I’ve ever known.
She was Team Mother for the Brigham Young University men’s gymnastic team, 1984-1988. She raucously attended every home meet, cheering every performance, win or lose, louder than the time before.
She could cook like no other. Show up at her house any time, and she’d whip up something magical, from practically nothing. Folks were stunned. She had three main dishes that were her ‘go to’s’. The first, entitled ‘Bowl’ (of M&M’s), was her most popular. She would dress in her fanciest robe, oftentimes donning her best wig, and pour a jumbo bag of peanut M&M’s into a bowl. Serve at room temperature for greatest impact. Good for any occasion.
Dish 2, called ‘Toast’ was her second favorite. Usually made with raisin bread. There were, however, occasions, mostly when we were younger, that she would attempt to melt some cheese on plain bread under the broiler. You knew you were in for an absolute treat, when she turned on the broiler then started slicing cheese. The dish, (cheese) ‘Toast,’ was often successful, and when it was, it was delicious and much better received than ‘Bowl’
Her third, and possibly most famous dish, happened later in life, when her cooking skills had peaked. ‘Cheese Toast’ had been retired for years by then, as this dish demonstrates. It was affectionately named ‘Shoes,’ by her visiting grandchildren, who, after pre-heating the oven to prepare a meal, had discovered that JoJo had taken to storing some of her ever-growing collection of shoes in the unused oven. JoJo had uniquely discovered, unknown to nearly everyone alive, that the oven, when not used for years, can be better used as extra storage space. Genius!
Adventuresome, you ask? Hands down, a resolute YES! At 64, she travelled to New Zealand with her granddaughter, and for reasons known only to her, Joan jumped out of a perfectly good plane. She was not awarded full ‘sky-diving’ credit however, as the attempt wasn’t without incident. Shortly into the free fall, she threw up into the face of the tandem jumper and then proceeded to lose consciousness for the duration of the fall, terrifying both her granddaughter (who feared she was responsible for JoJo’s death) AND her jumping guide, assuredly traumatizing them both for life. As such, the nation of New Zealand granted her 1000 bravery points, but only issued partial credit for the ‘sky-dive’ attempt.
Was she a sports fan, you ask? WAS SHE A SPORTS FAN? She played them all when she was young. She taught them all when she was an educator, and she cheered them all as an adult. BYU Football and Gymnastics— season ticket holder! During the opening ceremonies of Gay Games Sydney 2002, she sat in the stands, dressed in American Flag attire (no surprise here), complete with bejeweled sunglasses and a flag in each hand, stealing attention from the athletes as they crossed the field. She was eventually awarded (by her son), World’s Loudest (both vocal and fashion) Cheering Mom. Not to be outdone by this experience, when her granddaughter crossed the line in the Boston Marathon, she made sure her entire family was dressed in bright ‘never to be lost in a crowd’ yellow shirts and again she was the loudest cheerer boosting Chantelle across the finish line.
Tennis was her greatest love, followed by the Philadelphia eagles, Kansas City Chiefs and the Golden State Warriors (she had not so secret crushes on Stephen Curry and Andy Reid). It was her modus operandi to call any family member who would answer, day or night, and ask if they were up to date on the latest match/game/score.
And patriotic? Heck yes! A SUPERFAN of the USA! A caveat however, is that she often asked as much as she gave in the cities she lived in. …that time when she got stuck in traffic while taking her dog to the vet, and called 911 to get a police escort, but was denied.
Oh, and the other time when she called 911 because a gecko had gone behind the TV stand. Ambulance and fire truck arrived to assess the situation, and eventually 8 firefighters caught the lizard and brought it out to the looky-loo neighbors so they could pet the gecko.
We could continue on with endless stories, but to save time we will simply share a list of a few of her favorite things, in no particular order:
-frosted hair and the corresponding wigs of every hairstyle
- chimes, chimes, chimes of any kind. If one chiming clock is good, 9 must be better.
-costume jewelry (of every color but mostly orange). Why wear 3 when you can fit 10 bangles on each wrist?
-Dogs, especially boxers
-Chocolate cake, or sweets of any kind when cake wasn’t available
-Her children
-Her grandchildren
-Christmas and decorating, both of herself and her house. Any holiday, really
-FINGERNAILS! Particularly bright orange ones/bedazzled ones/themed ones (see above)
-Sunglasses, bedazzled of course
-The Lodge and it’s staff
-Orange: car, walker, nails, clothes, jewelry, art, etc
-clothes: racks and racks of clothes of colors I never knew existed. If he liked it, she had one of every color, most of which went unworn
-shoes, OMG soooo maaaaany shoooooooes
-true crime TV and crime dramas. “Can’t talk now, Law and Order is on…”
-her great grandchildren
-hard work
-being STUBBORN
We love and miss you, Mom. We are deeply suspicious you were Wonder Woman, as we’ve found some keys marked ‘invisible plane,’ but we still can't find it.
It was Joan’s wish not to have a funeral ceremony after her death. Rather, the family will be honoring her memory at a gathering Summer/Fall 2024. It was her wish to be cremated and interred with her sister and her parents at West Laurel Hill Cemetery, Philadelphia, PA.
What’s your fondest memory of Carolyn?
What’s a lesson you learned from Carolyn?
Share a story where Carolyn's kindness touched your heart.
Describe a day with Carolyn you’ll never forget.
How did Carolyn make you smile?