Deby Jene Groves' Obituary
In the early morning of Thursday, May 10th, and at the budding age of 60, Deby Groves was taken from us by metastatic breast cancer. It is impossible to capture someone like Deby in something like an obituary, but you must know at least two things from the outset: Firstly, that although her legal name was Deborah Jene Groves, you could expect to be punched in the throat should you refer to her as “Deborah;” secondly, although metastatic cancer took her from us, she did not “succumb” to it after “a long battle.” Sometimes cancer just takes those we love. The fact of the matter is that anyone who knew Deby could tell you that she had more zest and desire for life than anyone else they knew. Even her oncologist called her “disco girl” as she danced through her clinic appointments.
Although I called her “mom,” over the course of her life Deby filled many roles, including daughter, sister, wife, mother, computer IT analysist, and general bad ass. Just after she was placed on hospice, I asked her for a list of her 25 favorite songs. Since mom has always been the best authority to define herself, using those lyrics seemed like the best way to capture who she was. Should you manage to identify any of the songs in her obituary, know that the two of you would have gotten along just fine.
Deby lived by the philosophy to Just go ahead, let your hair down. No matter how stressful life got, she would help her loved ones to take time Watchin’ the tide roll away. Nevertheless, life has consequences, and she taught my siblings and I that What goes up, must come down, spinning wheel got to go ‘round. While she knew that in this world The winner takes it all, the looser standing small, Deby always made it clear that what mattered most was people—that Nobody’s right if everybody’s wrong. Continually giving those she loved more chances than they deserved, she deeply understood that Your lonely nights have just begun when you love someone. As I grew up, however, I always felt like her Love will build a castle in the air.
Rebels been rebels since I don’t know when, and Deby was a rebel. She dropped out of high school, married her sweetheart, and had the one and only Jamie Leigh Emmett Burnham at age 19. After that, life threw her plenty of curve balls. Regardless, she would Learn to take these broken wings and learn to fly; completing her GED in 1985—one year after I was born—while raising four kids in a blended family. No matter what, Deby followed her passion, knowing that You can’t start a fire, you can’t start a fire without a spark. Case in point, a few marriages later, she completed a general studies degree from Weber State at age 42, followed by a Bachelor of Science in Information Technology at age 52. I vividly remember her studying for exams while working full-time and raising me. From her I learned to look at life’s failures and simply declare, I’ll be back, back on me feet, this is far from over. Besides, Good things in life take a long time.
Absolutely no summary of my mom would be complete without acknowledging her love of quilting. Simply put, nothing would Take away [her] worries of today and leave tomorrow behind, like sewing together a quilting block. Though she also loved to Ride like the wind either on her road bike or the PT Cruiser which she inexplicably loved so much.
For all those who loved and felt of Deby’s love, we are left to sing, This world was never meant for one as beautiful as you. As is now all to clear to me, Dreams of our moments together color my world. Deby is survived by her daughter, Jamie, who continues Deby’s fierce love for All the hearts in all creation; by her son, Daniel Lane Lancaster, in whom she instilled her conviction to Just listen to yourself, not what other people say; by those who chose to call her “mom,” including Shane and Crystal; by her siblings Gina, Jackie, Sandy, and Rick; by her father, Dick Groves; and by everyone else who will See [her] face in every flower, [her] eyes in the stars above.
Anyone who had the pleasure of knowing and loving Deby is invited to an open house memorial for her, at Alta Lodge. The memorial will be taking place on Tuesday, June 5th from 6:30pm to 8:00pm. Please bring your memories of Deby to share, otherwise These memories lose their meaning.
What’s your fondest memory of Deby?
What’s a lesson you learned from Deby?
Share a story where Deby's kindness touched your heart.
Describe a day with Deby you’ll never forget.
How did Deby make you smile?